Today is my last official day of summer vacation, which also means the end of my maternity leave. I have had a wonderful three months with Alexander and I am very lucky to have had so much time with him. When he was six weeks old I remember thinking, how do other mothers go back to work now, after only six short weeks!?! Now I sit here and think, how can I go back after three short months!?! Alexander still seems so little, his needs are still so great. Then there are the moments that are the hardest...when he wakes at three a.m. As I walk to his room I think, can I do this? Can I be a successful teacher, wife, mother and volunteer all at the same time?
I am actually looking forward to going back to work. There I said it. I feel like that makes me a bad mother but I would be an even worse mother if I lied. Many people have asked me if I am going back to work and when I say yes they respond with, "I'm sorry". It's like they are offering their condolences or pity. I want to be a contributing member of society. I want to help my son understand the value of hard work. I want to continue to be a part of this family's financial well being. Are those things more important than Alexander? Absolutely not! But they are important to me. He is going to be in good hands and he is going to learn new things while I am away. But I am going to learn new things as well and we will just have to figure it all out together. That is after all what being a family is all about, supporting each other as we learn and grow.
I have to go to bed now, it is after all a school night.
4 comments:
Thanks for your thoughts, Sarah. While I'm sure it will still be hard to leave Alexander those first mornings, I commend you for being honest with yourself about who you are and who you want to be. There are a lot of little students out there who will benefit, and as you mentioned, so will Alexander. Hope you had a good first day!
Thinking about you today Sarah. I think mothers have it tough. If you go back to work you are a bad mother and if you stay home you're a bad woman. I think that the best you can do is make the decisions that feel right for your family. Remember, that you'll be the best mom when you are being fed too.
Enjoy your new routine. In my experience, it makes those nights and weekends that much sweeter : )
Sarah, you are a wonderful, wife, mother, teacher, contributor to our society and a terrific friend! Don't you ever forget that...it's only normal as a new mother to struggle a bit with balancing all that life gives us to take of...take your time my friend, Alexander has already benifitted from yours and Eric's wonderful parenting and will continue to do so whether you're with him all day or just some of the day...your love for him lasts all day long. Hope it was a good day for you, Alexander, Eric and Gramma Donna! thinking of you <3
Sarah-
I am thinking about you as you make this transition! I remember crying so much leading up to going back to work, but as soon as I got there and got back into my routine I was totally fine. I start tomorrow--I'm looking forward to it, too! I know Drew is in good hands and I am craving using my brain in different ways. I really enjoyed the summer with Drew, though. I will miss our times, but thankfully, as a teacher, we have a lot of time off! Good luck! Hope you get a good class this year! Rachel
Post a Comment